Forgiveness

Which of us has not felt the burden lighten when we forgive someone who has done us a disservice.

What about forgiving ourselves?

Remind yourself that you are only human; you will make errors of judgment; you will get things wrong or inaccurate; you will let yourself down.

If you forgive other people who do the above why not yourself.

Make a list

I forgive myself for:
looking stupid - either stammering or not!!
being worried about how others will see me
being too sensitive
obsessing rather than moving on
not being able to get out of a rut
etc etc etc

Do it live too. In the moment when about to speak or speaking, in the pauses, forgive yourself for being concerned or nervous. Forgive yourself for 'not being good enough'- whatever that is. Forgive yourself for being a perfectionist. Forgive yourself for attending more to your own problems than to the other person as an interesting human being like yourself. Forgive yourself for being worried about what the other person thinking of you.

Get the idea? But put it in print first to establish the pattern. Take one issue at a time.

This doesn't give anyone carte blanche for bad behaviour but there are unhelpful patterns that are best recognised and reassessed. Do this after forgiving yourself and others.

Identity

Do I have an identity?
or
Do I identify with values, ways of doing things, standards etc.

Think about it.

We actually do the second but limit ourselves by thinking that we have an identity.

Actors identify with a character and while doing so can't have their own identity.

Identity is a behaviour too.

Where does this take you with stammering?