With digital processing the controlling switch is on or off, either–or, with analogue processing the communication which the switch controls can be on a little or a lot. Which is best to use depends on the circumstances. But there is more flexibility with the analogue switch: just like a dimmer.
You are only as good as the last time you spoke. You either get it right or wrong. People are either good or bad. There is no second chance. Either it will go well or it will be a disaster. Unless you speak like a politician on TV or a newsreader you are not good enough. All of the above discount a complex life for one incident, which is often trivial in the scale of things.
These are among the daftest types of judgments we can make. And they are digital.
People might make much or little of a lapse depending on whether they think digitally or not. Better to see things in a wider framework, it comes with a different feeling.
When we are small the world is digital and too often we keep the feeling and the way of judging for an unhappy lifetime.
We present the world digitally to our kids and we were those kids once upon a time. Fairy tales and stories, films and cartoons have good guys and bad guys - clear distinctions.
Not so in adult life. Folk are a mixture, both good and bad: analogue.
There is a continuum and we can be anywhere along it depending on the circumstances and how we feel.
What we remember and how we remember it depends on our feelings at the time of enquiry, so false memories are an everyday occurrence. We really shouldn’t be so sure of ourselves.
Thinking: both ...and... is better than either......or........ usually.
Are you a black and white sort of person; or a shades of gray sort of person?
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Distraction
Distraction isn’t enough. When I want to distract myself, at the back of my mind there is a kind of supervisory function goes on which keeps gnawing away and won’t let me forget the thing I would rather put off. So deliberate distraction won’t do. But when I am at work and am torn between several things of equal importance that I want to get done, it is easy to forget one or two, in all honesty.
Are there lessons here? I think so.
Rather than thinking of distraction, which actually turns my attention on me, I look for interest and ask myself, ‘I wonder what I can find interesting about this person?’ and concentrate on investigating them, at some level. It is a bit like looking at a painting and being satisfied with whether I like it or not, or looking at it and wondering about the composition, technique, colours used, the artists use of colour, genre, the frame, the setting of the work in the room, the history of the work itself, the artist and her history. If I don't like it that doesn’t mean I can’t find something of interest in it.
When I have got to know people or paintings I have sometimes changed my first impressions, for better or worse, and I’m sure you have too.
Importantly, if I am think about someone asking me if I like a painting or need to justify my judgments about it then the investigation becomes focused on me not the painting, and I lose my calm.
There is a difference between worrying about not failing an exam and wanting the best mark I can get. Wanting not to be poor is different from wanting to be rich. Wanting not to look unfashionable is different from wanting to be dressed fashionably.
So we can travel in a different direction. Allowing ourselves to be distracted by what interests us is easy: so, rather than making it a chore, make other people the focus of your interest and attention. I like watching people: what shapes they are, how they are dressed, what they look as if they are doing, wondering what they do for a living, whether they are harassed, and how I might be totally wrong about my assessment of them, do they look scary and I wonder why I think that. One thing can lead to another and the light the picture is seen in changes.
When my attention is on me I get flustered. But I am flattered to have someone give me their whole attention.
These suggestions have to be acted on to explore and ultimately change habits through practice. Try them and see what happens.
Are there lessons here? I think so.
Rather than thinking of distraction, which actually turns my attention on me, I look for interest and ask myself, ‘I wonder what I can find interesting about this person?’ and concentrate on investigating them, at some level. It is a bit like looking at a painting and being satisfied with whether I like it or not, or looking at it and wondering about the composition, technique, colours used, the artists use of colour, genre, the frame, the setting of the work in the room, the history of the work itself, the artist and her history. If I don't like it that doesn’t mean I can’t find something of interest in it.
When I have got to know people or paintings I have sometimes changed my first impressions, for better or worse, and I’m sure you have too.
Importantly, if I am think about someone asking me if I like a painting or need to justify my judgments about it then the investigation becomes focused on me not the painting, and I lose my calm.
There is a difference between worrying about not failing an exam and wanting the best mark I can get. Wanting not to be poor is different from wanting to be rich. Wanting not to look unfashionable is different from wanting to be dressed fashionably.
So we can travel in a different direction. Allowing ourselves to be distracted by what interests us is easy: so, rather than making it a chore, make other people the focus of your interest and attention. I like watching people: what shapes they are, how they are dressed, what they look as if they are doing, wondering what they do for a living, whether they are harassed, and how I might be totally wrong about my assessment of them, do they look scary and I wonder why I think that. One thing can lead to another and the light the picture is seen in changes.
When my attention is on me I get flustered. But I am flattered to have someone give me their whole attention.
These suggestions have to be acted on to explore and ultimately change habits through practice. Try them and see what happens.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Obsession
St Paul tells us in Romans 7,19: For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
Substitute for St Paul’s dilemma: The way that I would like to speak I don’t and the way I don’t want to speak is how my speech comes out.
Why is this the case? St Paul attributes it to sinful nature, but psychology has given us some useful insights into this particular phenomenon
In his excellent book The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt reports Dan Wegner’s work suggesting that when we want to avoid something we set up unconscious monitoring for what we want not to happen. When we have tried to suppress these thoughts and have failed, they become intrusive and obsessive. Test it for yourself: try not to think of chocolate for 3 hours and see what happens. Or, as you are reading this, try not to think of a pink elephant with blue polka dots and don’t let that image come to mind for the rest of the day. Milton Erickson, the great medical hypnotist, used negative commands frequently, because they worked.
Have you ever read Dale Carnegie’s books? Well worth reading for folk who stammer. One of his points is to attend to other people and what they are saying, particularly before speaking. He says, ‘ it is especially important to keep attention off yourself just before it is your turn to speak’.
Constant monitoring for specific behaviours sensitises the PWS to situations and issues associated with speaking. When one fails again the situation becomes all encompassing.
PM
Substitute for St Paul’s dilemma: The way that I would like to speak I don’t and the way I don’t want to speak is how my speech comes out.
Why is this the case? St Paul attributes it to sinful nature, but psychology has given us some useful insights into this particular phenomenon
In his excellent book The Happiness Hypothesis, Jonathan Haidt reports Dan Wegner’s work suggesting that when we want to avoid something we set up unconscious monitoring for what we want not to happen. When we have tried to suppress these thoughts and have failed, they become intrusive and obsessive. Test it for yourself: try not to think of chocolate for 3 hours and see what happens. Or, as you are reading this, try not to think of a pink elephant with blue polka dots and don’t let that image come to mind for the rest of the day. Milton Erickson, the great medical hypnotist, used negative commands frequently, because they worked.
Have you ever read Dale Carnegie’s books? Well worth reading for folk who stammer. One of his points is to attend to other people and what they are saying, particularly before speaking. He says, ‘ it is especially important to keep attention off yourself just before it is your turn to speak’.
Constant monitoring for specific behaviours sensitises the PWS to situations and issues associated with speaking. When one fails again the situation becomes all encompassing.
PM
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