With digital processing the controlling switch is on or off, either–or, with analogue processing the communication which the switch controls can be on a little or a lot. Which is best to use depends on the circumstances. But there is more flexibility with the analogue switch: just like a dimmer.
You are only as good as the last time you spoke. You either get it right or wrong. People are either good or bad. There is no second chance. Either it will go well or it will be a disaster. Unless you speak like a politician on TV or a newsreader you are not good enough. All of the above discount a complex life for one incident, which is often trivial in the scale of things.
These are among the daftest types of judgments we can make. And they are digital.
People might make much or little of a lapse depending on whether they think digitally or not. Better to see things in a wider framework, it comes with a different feeling.
When we are small the world is digital and too often we keep the feeling and the way of judging for an unhappy lifetime.
We present the world digitally to our kids and we were those kids once upon a time. Fairy tales and stories, films and cartoons have good guys and bad guys - clear distinctions.
Not so in adult life. Folk are a mixture, both good and bad: analogue.
There is a continuum and we can be anywhere along it depending on the circumstances and how we feel.
What we remember and how we remember it depends on our feelings at the time of enquiry, so false memories are an everyday occurrence. We really shouldn’t be so sure of ourselves.
Thinking: both ...and... is better than either......or........ usually.
Are you a black and white sort of person; or a shades of gray sort of person?
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3 comments:
Hi PM,
For what it's worth, I'm a black and white person desperately trying to be more gray.
I'm ashamed to admit that your example of digital thinking (in your second paragraph) is pretty much how I think after a bad speaking episode. I know I have to change that way of thinking but it's very difficult.
Best wishes,
Sophie
Sophie
One way of looking at the digital stuff is to look around the world you live in locally. Some of your friends, family and colleagues at work will not be all good or all bad. In fact none of them will.
Think of them in terms of the advice people get when a partner leaves them - to think of the things that were annoying and unreasonable - allow things to open up. Don't do it too much as you may lose friends!! We often turn a blind eye ni order to live with family etc.
Practice becoming aware of where you already see things in a context, frame, perspective or light.
Not that you are any better only different. And in some ways better, I'm sure.
To think ' I both stammered and kept going' might help.
To keep a jounal and note how you were feeling just before speaking; and what was going on in your life; and if it was something important why was it important. And so on. Will allow you to get it out there where you can notice patterns - really important!!
I will post something on patterns in the future.
All the best
Peter
Peter,
You are so right.
Take it or leave it?
Fat or Thin?
etc etc
No in-betweens for me !!
Well until meeting you. I need to stop classifying people, subjects, objects, into 2 opposite categories and try and use more of them.
You are right, the more I watch other people talking and presenting, I can see lots of things that they do that I do better. I may not have the fluency of speech that they do, but the material and the way I put it over is better. The breakdown on communication based on verbal and non-verbal messages goes a long way to show that being able to communicate well can include non-fluency in speech.
Will be in touch after the hectic summer.
Owen
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