Feelings

We use our feelings to monitor how we are in the world.

Usually uncomfortable feelings are the ones we attend to and think about more. Because we associate discomfort with being unsafe the feeling remains until it is replaced by a sense of safety. And feelings arise instantly.

We use our feelings to supervise what and how we are doing and we pay attention to them rather than ask, ‘Ah, what is that feeling about?’ and then respond in the world to that state of affairs.

If we think of our feelings as feedback then we can use them to explore our thinking on what is going on for us more objectively. But if we get lost in the intensity of our feelings then they become overwhelming and the world becomes unsafe, we get to the flight, fright or freeze reaction. The feeling becomes the issue not the state of affairs and distracts us from the world as it is and puts our focus on ourselves.

We cannot trust our feelings. If you think you can: then remember the people you met that you liked and later came to know better and disliked. Did you trust your feelings, or intuitions at the time? Were they trustworthy. What about the opposite scenario?

Using a journal to explore our feelings is good because it objectifies the issues.