Hammer

The other night I had a particular job to do in the house which needed a hammer. I thought of my neighbour, whom I get on well with: I know he has a hammer of just the right size. But I put off going round as I don’t really like borrowing things. Time moved on and eventually came to the point when I just couldn’t put it off any longer.

As I walked around to his door I thought:

I’m sure he will let me have the hammer after all I loaned him things before.
But he didn’t get round to giving me back the spanner I loaned him and he might feel bad about that now.
But I only want the hammer for a short time.
But he might think I won’t bring the hammer back just after I’ve finished with it.
But it is a new hammer and he might not have used it himself yet.
But he might want to use the hammer and I will feel stupid if he says ‘No’.
He will feel embarrassed if he has to say ‘No’
But I will have made him embarrassed and he will resent me for it.
We have been good neighbours but this might end it
And so on……………………

As you can imagine I was becoming more and more emotional, embarrassed, anxious and ashamed that I had to ask to borrow something and didn't have it myself. Self righteousness came into it too.

So, when I got to his house he opened the door and said a smiling ‘Hi!’

I told him he could keep his damned hammer and where to put it.